Monday, May 16, 2011

Sore Winner

In 12 and under baseball there are things you can’t do.  One of them is running over the catcher or any player for that matter, in order to get to base, you have to slide.  If you don’t slide you will be kicked out of the game, and your team will take an out at each at bat.

I have seen this happen 5 times this season.  The kids that get thrown out can’t believe it.  The parents and coaches are angry.  Well get ready people because this is how it is in High School, it’s a safety issue and in case anyone hasn’t noticed, it’s a bunch of kids, let try and keep them safe.

This weekend we are playing another team from our town, during a tournament.  The kids all know each other and seem to get along. Apparently the parents and coaches do not like each other.  We are new to this so I’m just generally confused.  One of the other teams kids is running for home.  Our catcher has the ball, ready to tag him out.  The runner lowers his shoulder and plows down our catcher.  Not only does the ump call him out, he’s out of the game. 

It didn’t matter they beat us, but this is of no consolation.  The scorekeeper form the other team came over to finalize the score and was really pissed, he says he hates to come to our side, blah blah blah.  Our parents are pretty laid back, so they start laughing.  No one can believe he’s so mad, it wasn’t his kid that got thrown out and as I mentioned before, they won, HELLO, Mcfly.

He stormed off and continued to give us the stink eye; we continued to laugh our selves silly.  If you want to get that upset over 12-year-old baseball, be my guest.  My blood pressure is more important that that, and I am no spring chicken.  All I get from giving someone the stink eye is extra wrinkles.   And tell your kids to freaking slide, we are not in the MLB.  Not to mention it’s the rules, sink eye or not, and I didn’t make them.  The only thing I made is the kid and I would like him in one piece when all this nonsense is over.

Monday, May 9, 2011

A Moment of Thanks

     Thank you LA Lakers.  You have given me the best mother days gift ever.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Your implosion on the court in Dallas, against my beloved Mavericks was a pleasure to watch.

     Thank you Kobe, for giving me the opportunity to talk to my kids about how bad it looks for great talent to bitch and complain like a baby.  Thank you Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum for being complete losers and getting ejected from the game.  My 9 year old has better control of her behavior.  I mean I just can’t ask for better examples of soar losers.  Especially Bynum, beating up on little JJ Barea, did your mom teach you that move?  But again, thanks, it opened up a discussion on bullying.

     And thank you Mark Cuban for keeping it kinda classy.  But let me not forget my Mavericks.  Peja Stojakovic and Jason Terry who could not miss a three pointer if they tried.  And Jason Terry for being so sweet and thanking God for his momma, gotta love it.  Let me just say, "I love you Dirk Nowitzki".

     So go home you spoiled, entitled Lakers, lick your wounds, make excuses, and cry.   And kids remember, with great talent comes great responsibility.  Have a good attitude, no matter what.  I don’t care how good anyone thinks they are, everyone loses.   So if you get beat, trounced or hammered, do it with dignity, just like your momma taught you.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


This is a word I use quite a bit.  The league schedules two 7:30 p.m. games in a row on school nights, really?  My son cried the other day when he got picked off at 2nd, really?  Some mean little girl called my daughter an idiot during practice, really?  The little brat was 3 years older than mine.  Her mother response was a light, “sorry”, really?  That’s all you’ve got!

The coach form the other team, continues to have his team steal bases, when they are ahead by 15 runs, really?  A parent from the other bench comes over to take a picture of his kid, who proceeds to smash the ball.  He starts screaming “take three, take three,” right in front of our parents, his team was already trouncing us.  Really.

You can’t hear my sarcasm; you can’t hear the inflection and tone in my voice.  The exasperation I feel when I say this.  People never cease to amaze me.  When we are winning by a significant amount, I quit cheering.   It’s not worth it to cheer for my kid when he is beating a struggling team.  Bragging when you win by 20 runs is simply poor form.

Clearly, I am one of the few people who subscribe to this point of view.  At one game I found myself praying for the other team to just strike a few of our kids out.  Oh well, I can’t change it and I don’t care to.  It a lesson to be learned and I hope my son and daughter learn to say, really?  Because in most of these situations, that’s all I’ve got.

Monday, May 2, 2011

If he’s 12, I’m 29

            At one of my son’s baseball games this weekend I noticed something a bit off.  The kids were freaking huge.  I mean 5, 7 and 150 lbs. big.  A couple of the kids on the team were taller than I.  This is 12 years and under baseball.

I get that some kids are bigger than others.  We have a big kid on our team.  But come on, some of these kids look like they could drive.  I consider asking one of them if he could drop my kid off at home after the game.

I’m sure I’m wrong.  I can’t imagine that any coach would purposefully play an older kid down in a younger bracket.  I mean winning can’t be that important.  Grown adults would never cheat, right?

Well, I’m not buying it.  Those kids were huge and I’m pretty sure one of them had a five o’clock shadow.  If those kids really are 12 then they need to be checked for a glandular problem, or radiation in the drinking water.  I bet you my tummy tuck surgery cash these kids were older and the parents and coaches played them down to win. 

I mean trying to pass these kids off as 12 is like trying to pass my size 14 butt off for a 6.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see what’s going on here.  On the up side my 72 lb. kid pitched and struck one of the giants out.  The kid was at least 2 and a half times his size.  Good thing for the boys to learn early, size really doesn’t matter.